Social Interactions Blog

Out Goes Tease, In Comes Charm

October 8th, 2006

Do you find yourself teasing a friend of yours, and suddenly realise you are making him uncomfortable? Even though you only meant to joke about or ‘take the piss’ in Brit-speak, it does no good for the interaction or your relationship with your friend.

I was at a good friend’s birthday bash, and a couple of social encounters made me realise I need to bring out the charm more. Here are the interactions.

Interaction 1: Taking the Mickey

The birthday girl’s boyfriend is also a good friend of mine. Infact I’ve known him longer. We were talking in the VIP room of a West London club. The conversation was drinks.

Me

What’s that you’re drinking?

MaleFriend

JD and Coke

Me

Dude, that’s a *girl’s* drink

MaleFriend

No, it’s… (I cut him off)

Me

Hey, do you know how I know you’re gay? Cos you’re drinking a girl’s drink! *small burst of laughter from me*

I mean we weren’t vibing, so it was totally out of the blue. I guess I was trying to lighten the mood, though the choice of taking the Mickey out of his drink was a bad one.

What I could have said.

MaleFriend

JD and Coke

Me

Niice! Jack n coke has the warmest taste…love it. etc…

Interaction 2: Taking a Compliment

I love compliments about my dancing abilities. I know I can dance, and its even better when other people take notice.

This is what happened. Same birthday thing, same club but dancing in the R&B room. A friend of mine compliments.

IndianHB7

I’m impressed with your dancing King Pin

Me

Thank you

Feeling good about this, thinking yea I’ve got some moves. The conversation of course never started, and she might think I’m stuck up, or at least not charming.

Should have been:

IndianHB7

I’m impressed with your dancing King Pin

Me

Thanks, you’re pretty good at dancing yourself.

The thing is I actually did think she danced very well. Second best dancer there that night after myself and my girl. But why didn’t I say so? Because I was enjoying the compliment too much.

Social Lesson Learnt:

1. Don’t Tease: Even if you’re only joking, you are still making the other person feel bad, especially if they’re insecure.
2. Be Charming: Return compliments geniunely

Technorati Tags: charm, charming, teasing, tease, social skills, people skills, conversing, conversation

Entry Filed under: Social Interactions